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Joshua Stephens | Dec 9, 2025

The Slow Burn: Shared Suffering & the Camacho Corojo

Sometime during the afternoon of June 12th, 2017, I called my wife at her brand-new job and pleaded with her to come home. I didn’t have the words to explain it, but I knew if I didn’t interrupt the pattern right then, I wasn’t going to make it.


Within hours, I was in a treatment facility.

Within hours, her reality collapsed into something she never asked for.

Her husband had become a drug addict….and we were about to walk through hell together.


People don’t tell you this part:

Meeting Jesus doesn’t mean everything becomes easy.

Sometimes it gets messier before it gets redeemed.


Two weeks earlier, a colleague invited me to church. No expectation, no spiritual hunger…but for whatever reason, I said yes. So that Sunday, my wife and I grabbed coffee and walked in.

The music started.

I sipped my latte and tried not to look uncomfortable.

Then the pastor opened his mouth… and it was like he had secretly read my diary.


Every word cut deeper than the one before.

Not in shame but in truth.


I felt exposed. Seen.

Convicted in ways I hadn’t felt in years.

Because the truth?


I wasn’t the man I pretended to be.

Not to my wife, not to my friends, not to myself.

Behind the baller job, baller loft, baller dinners…

Behind the European vacations and Executive Platinum status…

I was a slave. Bound to nose candy. Drowning in lies.


I was a whitewashed tomb, polished on the outside, rotting on the inside.


So when the pastor offered an invitation to accept Jesus, I took it.

And immediately, something shifted.

Without telling a soul, I got clean. For a while.

Then I relapsed.


And six months later, I walked into rehab.


No one sets out to become an addict.

But you become the things you do….one small decision at a time.


Thirty days in treatment, then straight into an Oxford House for another 90.

New job.

No friends.

Living away from my wife.

Attending meetings multiple times a day.

Working the steps.

Finding a sponsor.

Eventually becoming one.


And then, the week I was released from treatment…we got kicked out of the church that originally embraced us.

So I became a barista.

A stranger in a strange land, trying to rebuild a life from ashes.

And in the middle of all of it… one moment changed everything.


One of my recovery brothers knew I loved cigars. For Christmas, he handed me a box of Camacho Corojos…bold, peppery, leathery, Honduran puro goodness.


Looking back, the cigars weren’t the gift.

He was.


He met me when I had nothing…no money, no status, no identity, no credibility.

I was a ghost of myself.


And still, he leaned in.

He took me to lunch.

Sat with me on patios.

Let me be broken and rebuilding without judgment.

Our wives became best friends.

Our families became intertwined in ways I never saw coming.


They even showed up, surprising me at my 40th birthday in Big Bend with a handmade piñata stuffed full of tubos.


Brother… I’ve never felt more seen in my life.

To this day, when I see a Camacho Corojo, something stirs inside me.


Not because it’s the greatest cigar ever made.

But because it represents what saved my life:


Brotherhood. Shared suffering.

People choosing each other when everything else was falling apart.


Here’s the truth most people never learn:


Brotherhood isn’t forged on mountaintops.

It’s forged in the valleys.


It’s forged in the nights when you’re detoxing, while the fellowship watches over you.

In the afternoons when you’re embarrassed to look your wife in the eye.

In the circles of folding chairs where you tell strangers your secrets.

In the small, steady moments when someone chooses to sit beside you when you have nothing to offer.


That’s what cigars have always represented to me…not status, not luxury, not pretense.


Connection.

Companionship.

A slow burn in a fast, brutal world.


We share cigars the way soldiers share stories…

between breaths, between wounds, between old ghosts that still rattle their chains.


When we light up together, it’s our way of saying:


“I see you.

You’re not alone.

We’re in this together.”


Because brotherhood isn’t about the easy seasons…it’s about enduring the hard ones side by side. If I’ve learned anything through addiction, recovery, faith, and fire…it’s that shared suffering becomes shared strength. The right people will meet you in the ashes, sit with you, and help you rebuild piece by piece.


Not because you’ve earned it, but because that’s what real brothers do.


And every time I smell that peppery Honduran aroma…every time I see a Camacho Corojo tucked in a humidor…

I remember:


I didn’t make it here alone.

None of us do.

And the journey is sweeter when you’ve got a brother lighting up beside you.

Light Up & Lean In,

Joshua Stephens

P.S.

If You’re Struggling, Please Don’t Do It Alone

If any part of my story hits a nerve, if you’re fighting addiction, depression, or the kind of darkness that convinces you you’re better off alone…I want you to hear me clearly:


You are not a burden.

You are not beyond help.

And you are not supposed to carry this by yourself.


Real strength isn’t white-knuckling your way through the storm.

Real strength is reaching out.


For national substance abuse support in the U.S., you can get free, confidential help here:

SAMHSA National Helpline:1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Text your ZIP code to 435748 (HELP4U)

FindTreatment.gov — search for local options

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 anytime


If you need help, reach out.

You deserve support.

You deserve recovery.

You deserve life.

And if no one has told you this yet…

I’m rooting for you.

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Born in 1983, I grew up during a strange and wonderful time to be alive.


I remember summer mornings when parents encouraged you to leave the house and didn't expect to see you again until the streetlights came on. Nobody had Ring cameras. Nobody was posting

neighborhood warnings on Facebook. We weren't worried about the "big bad wolf" down the street. We had one family phone hanging on the kitchen wall...unless your parents were absolute ballers and paid for a second phone line.


Weekends were spent at sleepovers. We'd roam the aisles of Family Video or Blockbuster looking for the perfect movie. If we got lucky, we'd stop by Little Caesars next door and grab a Bigfoot Pizza before heading back to somebody's house.


Late nights meant MTV, TRL, Beavis and Butt-Head, and Twisted Metal tournaments that felt like they carried the weight of the world. Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness played through cheap speakers while we argued over who cheated and who got robbed.


Then, seemingly overnight, everything changed.


Dial-up.

24k modems.

The internet exploded.


Half my childhood happened before the online world. The other half happened after it arrived. The soundtrack of my life changed from guitars and arcade machines to the sound of AOL connecting.

You know the one.


Suddenly there were chatrooms. Screen names. Endless possibilities. Every conversation started with the same question: A/S/L?


As a tweenager, I found myself staring into a world I wasn't quite ready for.

I came from humble beginnings.


My Grandpa T-Mack…better known as "Smokey" Stephens…passed away around the time I was born. My birth father was never in the picture. My birth mother was just a kid herself, carrying a responsibility no fifteen-year-old should have to carry alone.


I spent time in foster care and bounced between homes before eventually landing with my grandmother, Joyce.

Joyce was a firecracker.


She worked at the county courthouse, where she met my grandfather. But by the time I came along, life had taken its toll. COPD. Asthma. Brain aneurysms. Most of my memories of her involve oxygen tubing and a wheelchair.


But none of that stopped her.

When she gained custody of me, she and her husband Bobby owned a little honky-tonk in East Dallas called The Junkyard Club.


To a kid, it was magic.


The place wasn't fancy. About 2,500 square feet. A full-service bar and kitchen. Cheeseburgers and fries served in hubcaps. Pool tables. Shuffleboard. An Elvira pinball machine. A Galaga cabinet tucked in the corner. Live music every Friday and Saturday night.


Grandma would bring me to the club after school while she worked the books.

I'd spend hours wearing out my wrists on Galaga while the cook fed me an endless supply of grilled cheese sandwiches. Every plate came with maraschino cherries.


The regulars all knew me.


One afternoon, an older gentleman dared me to eat a handful of jalapeños. Since Grandma didn't raise a quitter, I accepted the challenge. A few seconds later, I was sprinting through the bar screaming while tears rolled down my face. The regulars laughed. Grandma never looked up from her paperwork.


But the coolest thing in the entire place wasn't the arcade games. It was the school bus. After getting past security, you'd walk inside and immediately see it sitting on the right side of the club. A full-sized yellow school bus.


Somehow it had been disassembled, moved inside, and put back together as the centerpiece of the bar. Inside were booths and tables. But at the very front, beside the driver's seat, was The Table.


You could look out over the entire room from there.


It wasn't elevated much, but it felt like it was. To a kid, it looked important. It felt important. Like some kind of white-trash luxury suite. A little reserved sign sat on the table.


But here's what I eventually learned:

It wasn't reserved for the people with the biggest wallets.

It wasn't reserved for the loudest people.

It wasn't reserved for the owners.

It belonged to the regulars.

The people who knew everyone by name.

The ones who threw twenty dollars into the jukebox and played Creedence Clearwater Revival until everyone else was sick of hearing it.

The ones who showed up.


Again.

And again.

And again.


They had earned a seat at the table simply because they were part of the story.

Early in the evenin', just about supper time...

Down on the corner, out in the street...

Willy and the Poor Boys are playin'...


That was our place.


A place to know people and be known by them. As a kid, I didn't have the words for it. I just knew it felt different.


The smell of cigarette smoke hanging in the air.

The beer-soaked bar mats.

The sound of live music echoing through the room.

The laughter.

The conversations.

The feeling of belonging.

I felt connected.


When my grandfather died from cancer, Grandma sold the club. Eventually the building became something else. These days it's called The Lone Star Cafe. It's still there.


Back before I got sober, I'd stop by every December 21st…Joyce's birthday. I'd order her favorite drink. A margarita. No mix. Just tequila, fresh lime juice, a salted rim, and a lime wedge. Then I'd feed a few dollars into the jukebox and play CCR.


The school bus is long gone now. But when I close my eyes, I can still see it.


The band is playing. People are laughing. Someone just beat my high score on Galaga. Another guy is staring at Elvira. Pool sharks are running the tables. Sherry the bartender slides me another cup of maraschino cherries.


For a moment, life is exactly as it should be.


That's what Back Booth is about.


Back Booth is our boldest core cigar. A 5x50 Robusto wrapped in Mexican San Andrés. Medium-plus in strength. Full of character. Rich, dark, and unapologetic. My friend Austin described it as tasting like the best barbecue bark he'd ever had. Granted, he's from New York, so we'll take that review with a grain of salt.


But he wasn't wrong.


Because barbecue and cigars have a lot in common. Neither can be rushed. The best briskets aren't built in minutes. The best friendships aren't either. Both require time, patience, smoke, and a willingness to stay put longer than everyone else.


That's what the Back Booth represents.

Not exclusivity.

Not VIP status.

Not some velvet-rope version of cigar culture.

It's a seat that's available to everyone.

But it takes time to appreciate why it's special.

It's for the people who understand that the best conversations happen after everyone else has gone home.

The ones who know that community isn't built overnight.

The ones who keep showing up.

Again.

And again.

And again.

So pull up a chair.

Look out over the driver's seat.

Watch the crowd.

Catch the glow of the neon signs.

Listen as some up-and-coming band works their tail off trying to move the room.

Then take a look at the person sitting across from you.

Because moments like those don't last forever.

And that's exactly what makes them worth savoring.

So Light Up & Lean In.

Enjoy the moment because the "good 'ole days," well…you don't know you are in them until they are gone.

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